Asking guys for first date advice ???

am a single mum and havent been on a date in over a yr .....have a first date coming up and wanted a male perspective





i generally dont allow guys into my home on a first date ,as i have kids and dont like rushing into things [even if they seem good i dont ], would most guys be respectful of this?


i dont put out until a few dates down the track[like a month?] as i dont get that 'involved' until i am sure i feel something ofr the guy ,guys opinions?


i dont go back to his house either as i dont like the idea of creating a situation i cant escape .....not saying every guys a rapist or nothing just that i have a very logical mind and dont wanna send out wrong signals....again input fellas?


and am a very shy ,quiet person but once comfortable quite crude and silly ....guys wanted to get your perspective on wierd gals ?


thanx for any replies





michelle [single mum of two]Asking guys for first date advice ???
I don't think you are weird at all. In fact, I think you are very prudent in the way you go about first dates. As a man I agree with you 100% in what not to do in the first few dates. This is great advice for women in the dating game.





As a man I like to spend the first few dates bonding with her to see if there is a relationship potential. That means no going over to her house and she coming over to mine. If she has kids, I don't want to meet them for at least 2-3 months. I don't want to be looked upon by her kids as another guy shacked up with their mother. I don't want to meet her family members or close friends until we at least dated afew weeks at least.





These days I utilize the 8 date rule before I get into bed with a woman. The sexual playground is way, way too dangerous. Too many bad diseases out there. Maybe in my parents time people could sex each other until someone jacked up blood and the worse that could happen is a baby pops out in nine months or someone contracts a bad case of herpes. Nowadays those are the least of ones problems. Now we have a nasty thing called HIV running around. Monogamy should be the order of the day. I like to know for sure what kind of woman I am dealing with before I get intimate with her.





It is a dangerous world out there. As a man who was raised around a bunch of women, I know you watch the news and see reports a women getting beaten, maimed and raped. It is always the very few who brings bad light to the rest of the good men on the planet who are honorable and respectful of women. All men should get this and understand that when a woman first meets them, they are going to naturally fear that the man may hurt them physically. I know it is my responsibility to prove myself to be safe and trustworthy.





Another bit of advice while we are at it. Make sure you let someone know where you are going to on your first date. That way if you don't come home, they can notify the authorities. Also go someplace public yet quiet where you two can talk and ask each other questions. Make sure you relax and don't expect too much on the first date. Avoid things that may offend or scare him away. Don't talk of marriage, politics or put down anything about him that you don't see fit.Asking guys for first date advice ???
Sounds like you are pretty normal to me. Try being open about what is your situation / state of mind with him (maybe toward the end of the first date --if you feel you two have a chance of hitting it off). If he doesn't respect your wishes on a first date he's not your guy anyway.





Good luck in any case.
ok well ur rite dont go back to his cos if u do he thinks hes getting sum!!!





and NO dont take him back to urs either!! u dont want to have strange blokes around ur kids!!





make him take u out sumwhere, either let him pick u up outside ur house (dont let him in) or meet him sumwhere.. a bar, restaraunt..





u can let him drive u home after but tell him he cant come in b4 u get in the car cos ur kids at home asleep!